"Scooby Doo 2" is not just a bad film, it is much worse: It is a worthless film that has robbed me of an hour and a half of my life that I will never get back.

Not content with merely adapting theme park rides into movies or pleased with their brain-dead, assembly-line production of artless remakes and large screen versions of shallow television shows, Hollywood has gone the next pathetic step: It has de-evolved into celluloid-wasting emptiness by making a pointless sequel to a live action version of a second rate 1970s cartoon.

Day-Glo colors, cute Sarah Michelle Gellar in a mini-skirt, an annoying adenoidal slacker and a CGI dog does not hide the fact that calculating films like this, manufactured in the false guise of "hip family entertainment," only serve as drawn out commercials for plastic toys and synthetic carbo loaded fast foods that hypnotized toddlers can demand from parents numbed by the glow of false nostalgia.

I watched "Scooby Doo" and dug the monsters and the guest stars in all their cardboard cheap-o animation glory as much as any Gen-Xer did back in the day of Saturday morning cartoons. But the novelty wore off a long time ago. And I don't want it back.


John Remington is a drama and language arts teacher at Pendleton High School.


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